50 years of Marriage – Problems of raising children

        How is it that any mother could dislike her own child?  What would cause this?  I guess some mothers have the love they should have for their children but sometimes this love disappears under the strain that is in their life.  Sometimes mothers must work so hard to keep their children, that the mothers become weary and easily upset.  Sometimes they blame the children for their situation, forgetting that they themselves brought the child into the world.   Sometimes life becomes a burden with little pleasure and unending work.  In these moments not only mothers but fathers, also can look at their children and wonder why they had them.

      They think that since the children came, the parents do nothing but work to feed and clothe their children.  Then sometimes anger, frustration, and even hatred can take seed in the hearts of the parents. Sometimes they look at their own children, who seem happy regardless of the situation they are in, and the parents become jealous.  Sometimes as the children grow, the parents see how free the young ones are and it reminds the parents of their own captivity.

      In all these situations you will notice the love and the hope their children came into the world with.  If the parents are poor, then you would expect that some would react this way.  It is not only the poor who behave this way.  Many wealthy people treat their children as a burden that hinders their lifestyle.  Again, this is self-shining through, and in self everyone suffers: the parents, the children and even the generation to come, for the children may treat their own children the same way. Where families interested in themselves have little love and usually large problems.  Why then in other families in similar situations you have a loving home? Because they keep love in all that they do.?  They remember the love in their marriage, the love the children were created in, the love that is needed for the children to grow, and the love that the children return.  Even in difficult moments, the love is not forgotten, and this what blinds the family together and strengthens the family in each other.  Without love, a family is not a family, but with love, a family is a thing of beauty to behold.  Love is the difference between a strong family and a broken family, no matter what the circumstance.

     So when parents and children do not get along then is it parents fault? No not always but in many cases it is, because the parents have not given the children the love and attention it needs.  There are, however, children who have been loved, and sometimes in that love are given too much, and then the children come to expect all their demands answered. When they are not, the children behave badly, and then the parents become hurt and sometimes respond to the children they have created, in anger.  If only in the first place the child had not been spoiled.

       Then there are the children who become influenced by others.   The parents love them and truly love them, but nothing seems to stop the influence of others making the children worse and worse.  There are arguments in the family, anger rears its ugly head, thing is said that shouldn’t be, and suddenly there is a break in the family which all find hard to repair.  The parents are hurt, they wonder where they went wrong, they look to blame each other and they cannot see that when anger came in, love disappeared, and pride reared its ugly head.  Now they are trapped in self-pity and in a pride-filled attitude that makes it hard for them even to speak to the child.  Sometimes they even forget their child lives, and in their hearts is only pain, sadness, and a doorway open to sin that can lead them further and further away from loving, and closer and closer to sin and out of love.

     How cunning is evil that, by destroying a family, evil can affect so many souls and drag some into eternal damnation.  All this because love has been ignored or forgotten in a family, and self, pride and anger have been allowed in.  With families it is the same for everyone in life.  If you keep love in your heart you will live, if not you will destroy yourself.  Love is the key to life, whether it is a family life, married life, or single life.  Without love there is no life.